Sunday 27 January 2013

Bonus Badmouth - the signing of Leo Fortune-West

Leo's Fortunes Go West


"Cardiff are crap"
September 8th 2000. Rotherham striker Leo Fortune-West initially turns down an offer to join Cardiff City after the two clubs seemingly agreed a deal for the player.

The 6ft 4ins striker declined to join the Ninian Park outfit. Speaking to reporters the 6ft 5ins player said. "No, I'm not joining Cardiff City. They are crap."

Cardiff manager, Bobby Gould, tried to clarify the situation for supporters. "The player said no. Leo Fortune-West is not coming to Ninian Park." He said of the 6ft 6ins striker.

When asked what attributes had attracted him to the player, Gould replied, "Well, he's f***ing massive for a kick off."

"This is more important to me than skill or finesse when thinking about a player," Gould said of the 6ft 7ins striker.

Gould was in the market for a striker to replace Dai Thomas who had led the attack in Europe the previous season. Thomas was facing a ban from all football grounds in England and Wales for six years so was unlikely to feature in the first team that season.
Blimp sans legend

Cardiff chairhamam, Sam Hammam, was unavailable for comment but associates of the Lebanese millionaire intimated that a giant inflatable blimp sporting the legend," Yes, 6ft 8ins Leo Fortune-West is signing for Cardiff City," had been released over Swansea City centre that afternoon.

There were doubts about how 6ft 9ins Leo Fortune-West would fit into the team. There were doubts about how he would fit into his kit.


Add a couple of noughts
Hammam's elevation to Cardiff chairhamam saw Fortune-West value rocket from £35,000 to £300,000 and height rocket from 6ft 4ins to 6ft 9ins.  It was a valuation ex-Cardiff horror story and Rotherham manager, Ronnie Moore described as 'nuts to turn down'. The negotiations with Cardiff had gone better than expected, with Moore conceding that Hammam was an 'easy touch'. Praising Hammam's generosity, Moore enthused, "It's as if Cardiff's money wasn't his!"

Hammam defended the inflated fee by declaring that he had more money than sense and would be asking for the money back after he'd finished with the club.

22nd in command, Billy Ayre, was also unavailable for comment. He had been locked in the lavatory since August Bank Holiday Monday, apparently part of the agreement that brought the Hammam 'millions' to Ninian Park.

Friends of Ayre (real people not a Charity) urged him to study small print more carefully in future.

I loves the 'Diff, me
September 9th 2000. In a shock move, designed to be irritating, Leo Fortune-West sensationally signed for Cardiff City. Less than 24 hours earlier, Fortune-West told reporters that he'd rather have his nipples removed with hot pincers than join Bobby Gould at Ninian Park, although Gould was convinced he could talk the player round.

"Cardiff is a team I have always wanted to join for the money," said the 5ft 4in striker.

Bobby Gould, however, is relieved of first team duties after less than two months in charge. He is elevated to position of General Manager in charge of "other football matters." Or was that any matter other than football?  

During the interregnum between the appointment of Alan Cork, Roy Hodgson is ludicrously touted for both the England and Cardiff City jobs in the same week.

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Friday 25 January 2013

Bonus Badmouth -Tony Clemo. Cardiff City Chairman 1986-1992

Tony Clemo's Leaving Do - a review

Tony Clemo was Chairman and owner of Cardiff City during a difficult period of the club's history. He later commented that the pressure of being at the helm at City during this time was like 'being in prison'. He later retracted this statement after being in prison.

Cardiff City chairman Clemo built a club capable of attracting as many as 3,000 fans to Ninian Park every fortnight.  The players knew many of the crowd by name and it was feared that the 46,000 capacity might be too large, designed as it was to be a 1950s football deathtrap.


Obviously not flying but falling with style
During the 1987 election, the Natural Law party had more support in Cardiff than City did and perhaps more of a chance of achieving Yogic flight than City had of progressing up the leagues.

In retrospect, perhaps some credit should go to Clemo for keeping the club going when it could have folded; which is a bit like praising Hitler for keeping the war going from his bunker in Berlin.

But the fact remains, City were effectively a non-league club masquerading as a professional one during his spell in charge. There was little or no real infrastructure. It was rumoured the kit bag at Ninian Park contained one goalkeeper's glove and a pair of soiled underpants.

Surprisingly, as bad as this seems, worse was to come until Clemo sold the club to Rick Wright for a pound in 1991. Wright later described the club as 'over valued'.

 Rick Wright was no better in the end. Initially thought to be 'reasonable and good natured' and then later reclassified as 'nasty and demented'.

Tony Clemo was not a popular man in Cardiff. To increase his personal popularity, and at great personal risk,  Clemo invited supporters to an Open day at Ninian Park.  Fans got to wander about on the pitch, meet players and score goals at the Grange End.  Clemo walked amongst the crowd greeting and talking to supporters. In all, the Open Day went better than anticipated - Clemo wasn't murdered.
Clemo
All the same, there was tremendous sadness when Tony 'the people's chairman' Clemo bade his final farewell to Cardiff City in mid 1992. Tony, ever conscious of costs, insisted there should be little or no formal ceremony to mark his departure. His wishes were respected as hired thugs unceremoniously threw his chair, desk and brief case out of his office window into Sloper Road. His cascading paperwork provided a fine 'ticker-tape' accompaniment to his final moments at 'the City'.

Rick Wright, not wishing to prolong Tony's agony made his final remarks brief and to the point. He thanked Clemo for his tireless efforts during his 20 years at Ninian Park then told him to get out. "But remember Tony. there will always be a seat reserved for you at Ninian Park." He said pointing to a toilet door.

When Tony surveyed Ninian Park for the last time he thought about his greatest achievements there. Then he thought about the football for a moment.

But this wasn't quite the end, for later that same evening at a derelict B&B in Newport Road a special celebratory dinner and dance was held in his honour.

Mayed to go
And, yes, it was a glittering occasion. Scores of ex-managers and players sent their apologies but several first team regulars and then current manager Eddie May were forced to attend.

The showpiece of the evening was, of course the Welsh Cup, passport into Europe and the reason for a trip to MFI for a knockdown trophy Cabinet (which was erected by non other than ex-City favourite Jim Eadie). There was some consternation when the trophy went missing. But it turned up when the waiter returned with some ashtrays he had been emptying.

The evening kicked off with something different, a three hour video of the aggro at Ashton Gate in 1990 plus police photographs of the damage caused to Red Dragon Travel in Church Street - the only media coverage of Cardiff City during the last three years of Tony Clemo's tenure of office.

Next came the Cabaret spot. Radio and TV personality Roy Noble introduced some male strippers courtesy of the Majestic Holiday camp; indicative of Rick Wright's commitment to 'family entertainment'.


Fatuous
Noble then returned to deliver a series of fatuous remarks masquerading as a speech but was thankfully canned-off.
Stan Stennett made a brief appearance but the bouncer at the door managed convince him that there was nothing going on inside relating to Cardiff City and he went away again.

There was a momentary moment of unpleasantness when Clemo's wife Linda accussed him of being 'unromantic' because he refused to drink champagne from her shoe. "I cannot handle that amount of alcohol", Clemo later explained.

Ex manager, Jimmy Andrews made a surprise appearance and described Clemo as a 'useless git'. Words echoed by fellow former Bluebirds boss, Richie Morgan, who was also fair in his assessment of the outgoing chairman. 

Junior Bluebirds
To end the evening, Rick Wright made a brief speech outlining the achievements of Tony Clemo over the past 20 years. Unfortunately, at that moment, Paul Millar dropped his pint and his kind words were missed in the momentary hubbub this aroused.

Clemo was then invited up on stage to receive a special commemorative Junior Bluebird membership card and the bill for the evening.



He received these mementos to a rising crescendo of cat-calls, hoots and farts. The party finally finished at 3 am. (The players left at 2 am as there was a match the next day.) The whole shebang was scheduled to finish at 10.pm but was gate-crashed by bunch of rugby supporters who forced the bar to stay open at knife-point and tried (and failed) to get off with the male stripper.

At 3 am the police were called and after a heated argument and a scuffle the police finally got their way and the bar stayed open till 4 am.

Tired and somewhat bedraggled (some say pissed), the ex-City supremo made his way to the carpark only to find that, in display of good-natured teasing, his car had been vandalised. The tyres and seats were slashed and a swastika and the word 'twat' had been daubed on the windscreen.

He didn't have to look far for the culprits, he smiled, perhaps for the first time that evening because he knew, yes he knew, that he was at last one of the boys.

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Bonus Badmouth. Billy Ayre - His year in Football

Billy Ayre was installed to the manager's seat at Cardiff when Frank Burrows resigned in January 2000.[18] "This came as a complete shock," he said at the time. "I was on the motorway driving back to South Wales when the chairman rang me. I want to keep the job, and I hope I'm given the chance to prove myself."

Ayre Today, Gone Tomorrow

The dreaded drop

February 2000 - After disasterous 3-1 defeat at home to Luton, Frank Burrows accepts the inevevitable and resigns. Chairman, Steve Borley, cites dressing room unrest as reason for departure but fails to make known his sources. Billy Ayre is appointed caretaker boss. South Wales Echo reporter, Terry Phillips, fails to make a connection. Ayre is promised a permanent position if City beat the drop. "I have full confidence that Ayre can pull the club round," says Borley.

March 2000 - With City racking up the points at the rate of one a week they finally manage a 3-2 home victory against Colchester. Philanthropic City fans offer to finance transfer of Kurt Nogan from Preston. When player finally arrives (about six months too late) Nogan rises to the challenge with 3 full appearances and no goals.

When asked if the signing was a 'disaster', Ayre responds that, in this instance that word was well choosen.

Cardiff sign Nogan
Ayre recalls Robert Earnshaw from Grenock Morton with a Save Our Season plea to the 19 year old. "I'm not expecting Earnie to save us on his own," says Ayre. But he was really. Earnshaw immediately injured.

April 2000 - Late season away wins at Reading and Oldham ignite hopes that City will stay up and fears that Ayre might be appointed full-time manager.


Lowest ever league gate

However, classic home defeats of the new Millenium in six-pointer games against Cambridge and Bury more or less send City down and put Ayre out of the running for manager of the season. Opinion is unamimous, Ayre is hopeless. 2-1 defeat at Stoke and 4-1 massacre at Gillingham put City out of their misery. Last home game of season is played out in front of record lowest gate of 'no-one'.

May 2000 - No sign yet of Ayre's resignation or sacking. News filters through that Ayre is considering new 2 year contract and will be confirmed as City's 22nd post-war manager! "Billy Ayre has vast experience at this level," says City supremo, Steve Borley. as if it were a positive.

June 2000 - Ayre is told to set about building a promotion winning team. The alternative, should he fail, is that Cardiff City will give up football and open a shoe shop.

Cardiff branch out into retail
Series of half-hearted signings follow, all overshadowed by takeover talks with Sam Hammam. Ayre is rumoured to have money to spend on players and change left over to spend on sweets.

July 2000 - Hammam takes over the club in all but name. Vows publicly to give Ayre a chance to prove himself. In private, says he would rather mainline 'horse' through his jap's eye than continue to run a professional football club with Ayre in charge.

August 2000- On eve of season, Hammam panics and appoints Bobby Gould as manager. To relieve Ayres humiliation he is graciously allowed to select the team against Exeter. "Billy Ayre will still have a very important role to play at this club," Hammam lies to the press and they print it. "I looked at my watch today and it was a quarter to one," Hammam tells the press and they print it.
   

3 points at last

As City relinquish two goal lead against Southend, Gould is seen to rush from seat in stands to the dugout.  Ignoring Ayre, he directs the team. Draws against Blackpool, Rochdale and others suggest Ayre hasn't a clue how to win football matches and it becomes apparent that the only 3 points he'll ever lead City to are on the Pools coupon.


Cork

September 2000- Ayre mercifully takes up position as assistant manager. After a few hiccups, City start winning. Was there a connection? Ayre's important role at the club is again stressed. Alan Cork, Sam Hammam's football son, is appointed Gould's number 2. Ayre is relegated to Head coach.

Great manager
September 2000 - Ayre is demoted to Head coach after Alan Cork is appointed no.2 to Bobby Gould. "Billy's role at the club couldn't be more important," Bobby Gould tells the Echo.

October 2000 - Ayre applies for and gets the assistant coach's job at Cardiff City. "This is merely a change of title," says Sam Hammam, "Billy's importance to the club push for promotion is not affected."

November 2000 - In a backroom reshuffle, Ayre is promoted to assistant to the assistant head coach (reserve team) at Ninian Park. "I see this as a sideways move. I can't stress highly enough my regard for Billy Ayre." writes Bobby Gould in his programme notes.

December 2000 - After a string of poor reserve team results, Billy is given coaching responsibilities for the Youth team. He drives them to a game at Swansea. "Billy is such a loyal servant to the club." Bobby Gould muses in a memo to Sam Hammam.
Jan 2001 - Ayre installed as chief boot scraper and polisher at Ninian Park. "Christ! Are you still here?" Hammam says to Ayre during an impromptu meeting in the lavatories.

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Wednesday 23 January 2013

Bonus Badmouth - Bobby Gould, Wales and Cardiff City

Does a Welsh team manager really deserve such treatment?



Gould's autobiography.
I haven't read it so I
 don't know what it's about.
In August 2000, Bobby Gould was named as manager of Division Three side Cardiff City. But two months later he handed over his duties to Alan Cork and was promoted to the role of general manager. After seeing the Bluebirds win promotion at the end of 2000–01 he left Ninian Park to seek a return to management

Turkey 6 Wales 4  Gould's finest moment


In  2000 most people I spoke to seemed to be getting their knickers in a twist at the prospect of Bobby Gould taking the helm at Ninian Park after his glorious failure as manager of Wales.

Not me. I had been a big fan of Bobby ever since I was lucky enough to sit next to him on the flight from Istanbul to Cardiff following Wales' 6-4 defeat in
Turkey back in 1997.

Welsh party leaves Istanbul
Bobby could have sneaked quietly away from Turkey but chose instead to face the flak and field criticism from Welsh supporters sharing the return flight. He faced an ugly mob at the airport with dignity with only a raincoat over his face for protection. Does a Welsh team manager really deserve such treatment?


 
Hair after incident

Morons hell bent on preventing Gould from boarding the plane chanted for his resignation.  Eventually, after a scuffle and special pleading on my part, the players and journalists relented and allowed Bobby on the plane, his hair brusquely ruffled in the fracas.




Post match autopsy
He was a model of diplomacy.  He had to be, if he didn't want the post-match autopsy to be carried out on him. Does a Welsh team manager really deserve such treatment?

During the flight Gould was constantly baited by fickle supporters.  He was aggressively defensive (something you could never say about his Wales team)  about his preparation, team selection and match tactics.

I defended him. Wales' had eleven men on the pitch, one of which was a goalkeeper. so you couldn't accuse Gould of not getting the basics right. What happened when the players got on the pitch was out of his control, even if he was getting paid for it.


Welsh National Anthem an Artist's impression
During the flight some supporters, obviously drunk, called into question Gould's commitment to Wales and Welsh football. "You're not even Welsh!' shouted a particularly ignorant Swansea supporter.  Does a Welsh team manager really deserve such treatment?

Eventually,  Gould was unfairly goaded into admitting that the only time he'd had a lump in his throat during the Welsh National anthem was when he accidentally swallowed an Everton mint before the Turkey game.

But Gould countered brilliantly. "I wasn't born in Wales," he said, "but if you cut me, my blood is red." This comment drew not only gasps but a few serious offers to test the theory. Does a Welsh team manager really deserve such treatment?

Cardiff fans should have backed a man prepared to make a statement like that.


Good film
It was a pleasure sitting next to Bobby on that return flight and I took the opportunity to apologise on behalf of the entire Welsh nation over the Nathan Blake incident. Gould assured me, and I believed him, that he would never say or do anything knowingly racist.

We then settled back in our seats to enjoy the in-flight movie chosen by Bobby; 'Mandingo'.

It was typical of the man that by the time the plane touched down in Cardiff, Gould had won over many of the detractors and made many new friends by promising to resign.

Welsh FA Member?
But FAW committee members refused point blank to accept his resignation. And quite right too! These people are obviously not the un-dead zombies many supporters claim them to be.

It saddens me to hear comments bandied about like "Bobby Gould's reputation in Wales is lower than rat's piss."  Does a Welsh team manager really deserve such treatment? That's unfair. In years to come Bobby's place in the history of world - yes world - football will be reassessed.

Afterall, nobody did more than him to close the gap between the traditional football super powers (like Wales) and the emerging nations.

Unfortunately, as Cardiff manager, Bobby fails to answer the question on everyone's lips; Is it possible to play Lee  Baddeley and still win?

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